The Art of Saying “No”

December is now upon us and the count down to Christmas is on. This is the most important time of year to prioritise ‘self preservation’. This is very different to self-care. We can all diarsie a bit of ‘self-care’ (bath, massage, dry brush, mediation), but this doesn’t take away the bumble bee frenzy of racing from one commitment to the next, writing shopping lists, wrapping gifts, chasing work deadlines and baking shortbread for teachers. Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, you just can’t help but say ‘yes’ to all the lovely “we must catch up before” invitations. Oh, the temptation to squeeze one more coffee or cocktail party in and the fear of missing out!

It was 5 years ago when I had a bad thyroiditis attack that made me change my ways (I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Disease back in 2005). I was the classic victim of the “Super Woman Syndrome”. After losing 6 kg, feeling beyond exhausted, suffering chronic IBS and always feeling constantly overwhelmed, something had to change. It was a dear friend (Alison Oldfield, founder of Clocksicle – perfect clocks for kids – and also my “silent reading on the beach” friend), that taught me an essential life skill. That is, to simply say ‘no’. ‘No’ without being rude or apologetic. “Gina, I am sorry, my diary is closed”. What? You are not at least going to try and re shuffle a few things to see your lovely friend? Alison, in her very logical and endearing way, explained to me that she closes her diary regularly to avoid our modern day “rushing” syndrome. I loved it. I wasn’t offended, it just made perfect ‘logical’ sense. So here I stand today, as cool as a cucumber two weeks out from Christmas. I have adopted a “no” approach to many aspects of life now, and I feel like I am enjoying a dance in the “eye of the storm”.

My gift to you all this year, is to share with you my tips for improved “self-preservation” during the silly season. You can then apply the same approach to other aspects of your life and benefit through every month of the year.

My Top Christmas “NO” tips:

Say NO to a coffee date with a long lost friend you haven’t seen for the last 6-12 months. Life on earth isn’t going to end on Christmas Day. Make a date for the New Year once the dust has settled.

Say NO to doing it all! I used to think that being Super Woman was pretty awesome. Hmm, how wrong was I! Nothing beats delegating Christmas. Write up a menu plan and anything else you need for the big event (Christmas bon bons, crockery etc) and put a name next to it. All you have to worry about is the item that your name is next to. If someone doesn’t turn up with their allocated item, so be it. It is not your fault! I have the family this weekend for an early Christmas, and all I have to do is the meat for the main course and eggs for the morning. Done.

Say NO to two parties in one night. Do one and do it well. We had our old street party last Saturday, which conflicted with another invitation. The Street Party invite came out first and it is an annual tradition. People will respect you more if you politely decline an invitation, rather than spinning in halfway through or leaving in a hurry to get to the next function. You will also enjoy the evening more if you are fully present.

Say NO to rushing. I don’t make unrealistic appointments in the weeks before Christmas. Does it really matter if you haven’t had your nails done? Go nude!! I keep a very open diary and actually treat myself to brunch/lunch on my own! I always choose a light and bright café with a nourishing menu, such as Walk Don’t Run, Mammoth, Moby or The Beatt. It is a great way to step away from the day-to-day, write down an action list for the coming weeks and enjoy having someone else cook you a nourishing meal.

Say NO to mid-week Christmas lunches. Instead, meet for coffee or get the group to head out on a morning walk. You can kill two birds with one stone and keep the middle of the day free.

Say NO to too much alcohol. I love putting my hand up as designated driver. This means you can still enjoy a glass of bubbles without the hangover. I also don’t drink for the sake of drinking. Mineral water in a wine glass is just as good! We all just like to have something to hold and sip at a cocktail party.

Say NO to cheap champagne. My saying is “Life is too short to drink bad wine”. I stand by this 100%. If I am going to overindulge, make it quality over quantity. Your body will thank you the next day. Also avoid mixed cocktails where they have used a cheap prosecco and lots of juice blends. It never ends well.

Say NO to late nights. Nothing good happens after midnight. Prioritise your sleep. There is nothing more debilitating or sabotaging to your health than sleep deprivation. It is a catalyst to making bad food choices, drinking too much coffee and overall feeling crappy.

Say NO to gift giving. Our family does a Kris Kringle for the adults with a set budget. This minimises the amount of running around buying gifts for everyone in the family. It is very helpful for us as we have a big family! It can get very time consuming and expensive buying for multiple siblings and their partners. I prefer to relax on the couch listening to Christmas carols and let the kids enjoy the unwrapping of gifts from their doting aunties, uncles and grandparents. 

Say NO to unhealthy food. Trust me, you really won’t feel great when you eat too many sausage rolls at the next work function or the never ending supply of Lindt balls at the school morning tea. Enjoy a taster (cut the serve in half) of festive fruit cake or pavlova, but just say no to the whole or second helping!

Say NO to expensive and impractical gifts. My grandmother always insisted on practical gifts. She loved a hand cream, jar of jam, homemade batch of biscuits, simple soap. Nothing that was going to clutter the house up or not to her taste. Still to this day I follow her approach. This is also where Holly and I drew inspiration for our range of Wellbeing Kits. Everything in them is carefully sourced as a practical and necessary item for a greater sense of wellbeing.

By: Gina McNamara 09.12.16